Friday, February 22, 2008

BINDAS JOKES JUST LAUGH......


1. Phaail = File.
2. Bachao = Save.
3. Aise Bachao = Save As.
4. Subko Bachao = Save All.
5. Mujhe Bachao = Help.
6. Chuno = Select.
7. Sab Chuno = Select All.
8. Dhoondo = Find.
9. Phirse Dhoondo = Find Again.
10. Hilao = Move.
11. Daak = Mail.
12. Daakiya = Mailer.
13. Paas se dhekho = Zoom.
14. Kholo = Open.
15. Band Karo = Close.
16. Naya = New.
17. Badli karo = Replace.
18. Bhaago = Run.
19. Chhaapo = Print.
20. Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview.
21. Nakal = Copy.
22. Kaato = Cut.
23. Chipkao = Paste.
24. Ispesal Chipkao = Paste Special.
25. Goli Maaro = Delete.
26. Nazaara = View.
27. Auzaar = Tools.
28. Auzaar ka dabba = Toolbar.
29. Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet.
30. Iska Bhi Naam Nahin Aata = Database.
31. Ghusao = Insert.
32. Ped = Tree.
33. Thooso = Compress.
34. Chooha = Mouse.
35. Tik-Tik Karo = Click.
36. Idhar-se-Udhar. Udhar-se-Idhar = Scrollbar.
37. Chal Phoot = Exit.
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Kashmir Ki Vaadiyo Me,
Barfily Hawaao Me,
Jheel Ke Kinaare Baithe Ranjhe Ko...
Heer Ne Kya Samjhaya...?

Hero Mat Ban...
Sweater Pahenle..
**********************
Santa:- Agar Tu Ye Bata De Ke Meri Tokri Me Kya Hai..?
To Saare Ande Tere.
Santa:- Agar Ye Bata De Ke Kitne Hai..?
To 8 Ke 8 Tere.
Santa:- Aur Agar Ye Bata De Ke Kiske Hai...?
To Murgi Bhi Teri.Banta:- HINT TO DE.
*************
Mujhse Shaadi Karoge..?"
Kal Pura Din Soch Kar Mummy Daddy Bhai Behan..
Sabke Saath Baith Kar..
Mashwara Karke Parso Mujhe Bata Dena...
Ke Yeh GAANA Kis Film Ka Hai..?
*************

teacher: pehle murgi aati hai ke anda(egg) aata hai

child: jiska pehle order denge woh hi ayega na
*********************
1960 girl : Pehla phela pyaar hai,chhai bahar hai,
aaja sajna tera intezar hai.

2006 girl : Dusara/tisra pyar hai,dil bekrar hai,
aaja morey sajna
varna chautha tayiar hai.
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Rabri: Ka karat ho?
Laalu: Ek dost ko chitti likhat hoon.

Rabri: Par tohar likhna to aawe nahi?
Laalu: Vo sasura bhi to padna nahi janta.
**************
Jab Himesh Reshmya Mar Gaya,
To Bhagwan Ne Us Se Pucha Tumne Zindagi Me Kya Kiya,
Himesh Bola,ishq Kiya Kiya,Ishq Kiya Kiya re.Bhagwan Ne Kaha Ishq Kyun Kiya.
Himesh:Tanha Jiya Na Jaye Tanha Raha Na Jaye.
Bhagvan:Me Tere Ko Chorunga Nahi,
Himesh:Ya Ali Madad Ali Ya Ali,Himesh Wahan Se Bhaga Bhagwan Uske Pechay Bhaga Aur Bola,
Jhalak Diklaja Jhalak Diklaja Ek Bar Hath Aaja Aaja Aaja Aajaaa.

************************
7 sadhus 7 chatai per dhyaan lagakar baithe the.
ek Aadmi aata hain aur sabse buzurg sadhu ko Pranam kar poochta hain...?
Maharaj ladki nahi pat rahi hai.. kya Karu...??
Woh sadhu sabse chote sadhu ko pukarta hain... aur kehtaa hain

Scroll Down..
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Rupa

agar rupa ki baniyan pahenoge
agar rupa ki baniyan pahenoge
agar rupa ki baniyan pahenoge
TO RUPA KYA PAHENEGE
hain
***************************

Great 8

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…!
***********************

Kiss Kiss

Kiss is not like Nokia…Connecting People
Kiss is not like Nike… Just Do It.
Kiss is not like Pepsi… Yeh Dil Maange More
But Kiss is like Pan Parag… Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga
**********************

Kiss Kiss

Kiss is not like Nokia…Connecting People
Kiss is not like Nike… Just Do It.
Kiss is not like Pepsi… Yeh Dil Maange More
But Kiss is like Pan Parag… Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga
**************************
1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi
Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan Le!

***********************
Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad
Theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala:
Chad
gayi saley ko.
*********************
Teacher to class: " A for?"
Class: "Apple !!!!"

Teacher: " JOR SE BOLO"
Class: "JAI MATA DI !!!!!!!"
********************

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

*****************
Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.

**********************

Sachin’s Daughter: Yeh Kya, Daddy Sixer pe Sixer maare jaa rahe hain Hain?
Sachin’s Wife: Arey beta, yeh toh ADVERTISEMENT Hai ! ..


Wednesday, February 20, 2008

कहानी संग्रह

कविता
क्या बताये आपसे हम हाथ मलते रह गए

गीत सूखे पर लिखे थे, बाढ़ में सब बह गए

भूख, महगाई, गरीबी इश्क मुझसे कर रहीं थीं
एक होती तो निभाता, तीनो मुझपर मर रही थीं
मच्छर, खटमल और चूहे घर मेरे मेहमान थे
मैं भी भूखा और भूखे ये मेरे भगवान् थे
रात को कुछ चोर आए, सोचकर चकरा गए
हर तरफ़ चूहे ही चूहे, देखकर घबरा गए
कुछ नहीं जब मिल सका तो भाव में बहने लगे
और चूहों की तरह ही दुम दबा भगने लगे
हमने तब लाईट जलाई, डायरी ले पिल पड़े
चार कविता, पाँच मुक्तक, गीत दस हमने पढे
चोर क्या करते बेचारे उनको भी सुनने पड़े

रो रहे थे चोर सारे, भाव में बहने लगे
एक सौ का नोट देकर इस तरह कहने लगे
कवि है तू करुण-रस का, हम जो पहले जान जाते
सच बतायें दुम दबाकर दूर से ही भाग जाते
अतिथि को कविता सुनाना, ये भयंकर पाप है
हम तो केवल चोर हैं, तू डाकुओं का बाप है

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

हिंदी तेरे दर्द की, किसे यहाँ परवाह

Hindii tere dard kii, kise yahaan paravaah,

Yek angrejii saal, yek hindii saptaah

Dhadkan main inglend hain, munh par hindustaan,

Aise main ho kis tarah, hindii kaa utthaan

Nij bhaashaa, nij raasht , nij sansakrt se parahej,

Goron ki aage huye, ham kaale angrej

Svaabhimaan ko bechakar, jaarii jinake jashn,

Hain phijool unake liye, nij bhaashaa kaa prasn

Angrejii ke moh main khoee nij pahachaan,

Ghar ke rahe, n ghaat ke, ham dhobii ke shvaan

Dillii tere nyaay par, kaise ho vishvaas,

Angrejii ko raajasukh, hindii ko banavaas

Bhaashaa-sansakrt se rahaa, yadi yoon hii bidvesh,

Aane vaalii piidiyo, doondegii avashesh

Hindii kaa khaakar gune, jo angrejii giit,

He prabhu ! Sou dushman mile, mile n aisaa miit

Saturday, February 2, 2008

COOL JOKES

Read It

Shayad mere Pyar Ko
taste karna BHOOL Gaye...
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye...
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Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double-click karo...
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Roz subha hum karte hain
pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain
jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...
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Kal jab mile thhe
to dil mein hua ek sound.
aur aaj mile to kehte hain
your file not found!
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Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
no more disk space.
-------------------------------------------
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...
------------------------------------------
Dil se ek ishq ki application
create kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se debug karna
mein wait kar raha hoon.
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Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka ho
gaya server down.
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Jabse meri zindagi mein,
aayi hai ik female.
Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh
kya mailbox, kya e-mail.
------------------------------------------
Tumhaare intezaar mein
neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection
time out ho gaya..
-----------------------------------------
Nazar mein to kia hain
aur shaayad lonely hain...
Problem yehi hai ki voh
ab read only hain...

SMART FUN SMS

Ho gayi galti humse click ho gaya mouse
Duniya ki pawah chodo ban jaao mere spouse
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Tumse mila main kal to mere dil main hua ek sound
Lekin aaj mili to kehti hai: file not found
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Ab aur kaho na tum BUT ya IF
Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated gift
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Aisa bhi nahi hai ke I don’t like ur face
Par dil ke computer main nahi hai enough disk space
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Gher se nikalti ho jab pehen ke evening gown
Too many request se ho jata hai server down
-----------------------------------------
Tumhara intezar karte karte main so gaya
Yeh dekho mere connection time out ho gaya
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Kya chaal hai tumhari jaise chalti ho koi cat
What is ur MSN ADDRESS aao karein chat
------------------------------------------
Tum jab se meri zindagi main aayi ho ban ke female
Yaad raha na kuch na postman na e-mail
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Tumhare liye pyar ki application create karonga
Tum use deburg karma main wait karonga
------------------------------------------
Main tumhain pyar kyun karo tum nahi ho ash
Phir bhi dekh ke tum ko mere system ho jaate hai crash
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http://www.tushar-verma.blogspot.com
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